Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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