Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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