bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
