Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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