You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
