btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
