Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
