you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
