so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
