I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
