Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
