They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize