On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
