Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
