2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
