It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
