it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
