This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
