Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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