I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
