I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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