can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
