Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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