Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
my poor anus
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
