i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
