He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Having a random hookup so left but love u
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
