i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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