i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
