some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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