Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
