Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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