Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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