You really coming over, don't trick.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
