There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
