My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm both gender and math confused
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
