Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize