he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am available for nakedness
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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