In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
