I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
