Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
