I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
