you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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