i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
