I skipped work to stalk him.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
