Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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