they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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