I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
