I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
