How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
