smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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