porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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