Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
send nudes
from the living room?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
