He kissed a someone with a penis
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
