We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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