This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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