I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
