I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
