I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
