Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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