i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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