she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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