I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
