i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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